I just wanted to drive on the highway.

by Paul M. Summitt

This morning I got out of bed and decided I wanted to go for a drive on the new highway. Of course, I've never driven on the new highway before so I knew I would first have to get a permit to drive before I could drive on the new highway. This, despite the fact that I had been driving before, just not on the new highway.

Well, I was told that the permit office was a short way from where I live so I drove on over to get my permit. At the desk was an official looking woman, official because she looked busy, who I waited for acknowledgement from.

"Yes?" she queried in a bored tone of voice.

"I'd like to get a permit so that I can drive on the new highway," I responded in my best good citizen voice.

"Name?"

"Paul M. Summitt, S - u - m - m - i - t - t." People are always shorting me one "t" on my name.

"S - u - m - m - i - t", she wrote slowly on the form.

"T!" I emphasized.

"T!" she repeated as she looked over her glasses at me.

"Credit card number?"

"What?" I asked quizzically.

"Give me a credit card number so that I can have your account billed for your use of the new highway," she replied sarcastically.

"But I don't believe in credit cards. They're one of the best jobs of selling ever done to the American public. The capitalist establishment sold the concept of debt under a different word, credit. People are in debt when they use them, not credit."

She stared over her glasses at me for a moment. "What are you, some kind of communist?" I watched as she made a notation on my form. "How about a checking account? You do believe in money, don't you?" she asked sarcastically.

"Only to the extent that I have to in order to survive in the society in which I live. That's one of the reasons that I wanted to get on the new highway. I had heard that there were places where money wasn't the way a person was judged."

"Yea, Yea. We get your kind through here all the time. There used to be places like that but they were all bought out a long time ago. You still have to pay for your use of the new highway. How about that checking account number?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my checkbook and handed it to her. "All I really wanted to do was drive on the new highway."

"Yea, yea, hold your horses. Let's get this paperwork out of the way first. Do you smoke?"

"No, I used to but quit. What does that have to do with driving on the new highway?"

"It has a lot to do with it. Some of the communities that have exits off this new highway don't allow smokers. Some don't even allow former smokers."

"Some of the communities don't allow smokers?"

" Right. Some of them are all female too, so you can't get off the highway there either. And do you have African or Native American blood? Come to think of it we do need to get a blood sample from you so we can check that out as well as do a drug test and an AIDS test. Some of the private communities that are on the new highway don't want that kind of person getting off in their community."

"Wait a minute!" I cried, "I can be discriminated against because of my race or medical history?"

"It's not discrimination. These are private communities that just don't want that kind coming in and seeing what they've got. Nothing wrong with that."

"But I'd just be looking!"

"You don't need to look at their communities. Not if you're not one of their kind of people. Give me your arm."

I rolled up my sleeve and reached over the desk offering the inside of my arm to her needle.

"I'll also need your IQ test scores, your ACT, your SAT, your GRE, your LSAT, and your bowling average."

"My bowling average?"

"Yes, one community doesn't allow entrance if your bowling score is below a certain point. They don't want the community's average lowered because of a poor player. There, now put this cotton ball where I took the blood and hold it for a few minutes. We will of course bill your checking account for the blood test and the cotton ball."

"When will I get the results of the blood test?"

"You won't. It's none of your business. This is private information belonging to the permit bureau. You've made application and everything that is part of the application belongs to the private company that grants the permit."

"Private company? I thought the new highway was government property and therefore the people's property and that the state issued permits? The new highway was built with tax dollars wasn't it?"

"Where have you been? The people turned over all their rights to the new highway to the bureaucratic government. The government created more bureaucracies to watch over it and then decided it was easier to hire private companies to handle the paper work and then the bureaucracies could simply sit back and watch the private companies who of course paid the bureaucrats to look the other way. Think about it this way, if we didn't have people pushing paperwork concerning school lunches in today's schools we could probably feed every school kid in the country without having to charge for the meals. But think about all the jobs that would be lost if we tried to feed kids instead of provide jobs to bureaucrats. I think you are a communist, aren't you?"

"No, at least I didn't think I was. I just never thought of it being communist to want to feed children or get on the new highway and go where I wanted to go."

"Well, it is. It disrupts the American or, more importantly, the capitalistic way of life." She looked down at the form she was filling out. "You know, I don't know why you want to get on the new highway anyway. You don't believe in credit so your access to most places is going to be limited or restricted. Most of the communities are big into capitalism and they won't want your kind around. You'll be limited as to where you can go by your sex, race, religion, sexual preference, and other things. We haven't even gotten around to getting a permit for your vehicle."

"My vehicle?"

"Of course. Not just any vehicle can drive on the new highway. You've got to have power and speed in your vehicle. Otherwise you slow everyone else down. It also has to be the right color to get into many communities."

"But I just wanted to drive on the new highway!"

"Well, you can't!"

"Why not? It's a free country isn't it?"

"You know, I don't like your attitude and the answers you've given here on this test are not satisfactory."

"What test?"

"Why your money exam, of course. That's the only test that really counts anymore."

"Never mind. I don't want the permit. I don't want to drive on the new highway. It costs too much."

"Too late. You're already in the system. You can't drive on the new highway but we'll still bill you for keeping the access open to you."

"But you said that I couldn't have a permit. I couldn't drive on the new highway because I didn't pass the test."

"Right. But someone has to pay for the private communities to have access to the new highway."

"I'm paying for other's to have privacy?"

"Right! It's the American way of doing things."

I woke up at that moment. I was covered with sweat. I ran down to my garage and looked in. Yes, there was my car and I did have a license plate on it and it was good for another seven months. I grabbed my wallet from the desk and there was my drivers license with a expiration date of several years in the future. It had all been a dream.

I sighed a sigh of relief and grabbed a cup of coffee.

If a town tried to set themselves up not allowing certain people in there would be an uproar. Wouldn't it?

The fight for civil rights since the sixties saw to that. Didn't it?

No one has the right to set up a town as private and keep people from accessing. Do they?

"It's a good thing the highway isn't like that," I thought. Then I sat down at my computer and signed on to the INTERNET.

© 1994-2000 Paul M. Summitt - All rights reserved.

For Further Information Contact:

e-mail: psummitt@summittnewmedia.com